Guest Post: Remy Says: Sex with Vampires

Posted August 21, 2012 by Insane Hussein in Guest Post / 2 Comments

Remy (Remus) is a new character in Seleste deLaney’s Blood Kissed series. If you haven’t read the short story prequels, those are available from Decadent Publishing and many other online retailers. The first novel in the series, Kiss of Death, releases next Tuesday (August 28) from Mundania Press.

Too many years of killer vamps have triggered the curse of the Blood Kissed. They’ve awakened the bloodline that can alter their world, because her blood has the power to control them all—even make them destroy each other.

Jocelyn thought her troubles with vampires were over when she drove a stake through her boyfriend Max’s heart a year ago. Even though she’s engaged to Chad now, she’s never really forgotten him. Now Max is back, and Chad is taking her into the heart of the vamp community—and they’re the ones trying to keep her alive. The ones who love her and each seek to claim her for their own. Because once the elders know who she is, they’re all going to want her… or want her dead.

Remy decided to stop by and explain to us all just what it means when one decides to have sex with a vampire… or two… or three…

An interesting point of fact is a lot of vampires like to feed during either sex or seduction—sometimes both. So…

Know that you will bloodlet during sex. Get over it, get past it, enjoy the biting (because biting is fun… also because of point 2 below.)

Freaking out during feeding time is bad. We don’t like it. Well, actually some of us do—namely the ones who see it as an excuse to make things more violent and a lot bloodier. You’re naked and helpless with a creature that is designed to kill you. See point #1.

Speaking of helpless, it’s pretty rare to find a naturally submissive vampire. I’d say impossible, but then some idiot vamp would try to prove me wrong. We like to be in charge. It’s the reason vampire-vampire (or more) couplings (orgies) don’t happen very often, and when they do it means the room is getting a new paint job in blood-red, if you take my meaning. So, needless to say, don’t try to take charge—you’ll lose.

Also, unless you’re dealing with a young vampire, you’re at the hands of a master. We’ve had decades (some of us centuries) to try it all. The odds of you having something new to show/teach/whatever us are slim to none, so listen to your elders and enjoy the ride.

For us vamps of a certain age, there is one other thing. Hardly any of us are “curious” about much anymore. There is no “bi-curious” or “heteroflexible.” We fall at three points on the Kinsey spectrum: heterosexual, completely bisexual, or homosexual. So, don’t try to convince us to give you a try if we say no. It’s just a waste of your time.

Did I mention the feeding thing? Remember we can take blood from a lot of places. If there’s more than one of us involved—or you’re feeding one of us regularly—be sure to take your iron supplements and drink plenty of water. We prefer our pantries to be well-stocked.

And sexy. We also like our dinners to look yummy on the plate… er bed (or car or table or shower…)

Damn it. Now I’m hungry and horny. That about covers the main points on having sex with a vampire. If you want to know more, feel free to ask. I’ll pop in a time or two to answer questions (and really, the naughtier, the better.) Or if you’re interested in a private Q&A, I have a lovely room in the basement of my estate in Italy that might have your name on it. Applicants must have an open mind, incredible flexibility, and a high tolerance for pain. (Actually, that last bit is optional since I don’t mind screamers.)

Oh yeah, Seleste will be here too, answering questions about the book. (*yawn*)

If you want more Remy, you’ll find him in the pages of Kiss of Death, and you can find Seleste all over the internet.

Her website and blog, Twitter as @Selestedelaney, Facebook at both her profile and author page.

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Insane Hussein

J is a super-cool female superhero delivering her honest opinions of romance novels, douchenuggetry, sex toys, porn and whatever else she fancies. When not on the blog, she can be found on twitter chatting about whatever random thing occurs to her, might be curled up with a good book, eating chocolate, guzzling--she mean, sipping delicately--wine, watching TV, watching porn or on her back having orgasms. Or a combination thereof. Don't judge, appreciate!

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  • How important is it to read the prequels before the novel. If I get the novel first, will I get lost? 😀

  • Hi Andrew!

    You shouldn’t get lost without reading the prequels because I tried very hard to explain the needed bits from those. If you want the details, you’ll have to go back and read them, but you shouldn’t be lost 🙂