Review: Picobong Kiki

Posted November 28, 2011 by Insane Hussein in Because I Can, Reviews / 3 Comments

I’ve discovered that I am a sucker for bullet vibes. So, when I saw that the Picobong Kiki was being offered as a review item at Babeland, I jumped on that wagon.

Picobong is a new line of toys from LELO, a luxury sex toy manufacturer. I think their main purpose was to create a new, less expensive, high quality line of sex toys for their customers. Well, they certainly are less expensive. But the Kiki is anything but high quality… Instead, the Kiki was highly disappointing. It’s supposed to be a vibrating clitoral stimulator. It has a nice design, the color is like a Cerulean blue (bright) and it is quiet. However, the vibes are not even strong enough for my clitoris. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a fail.

The control buttons are hidden in the P and B of the engraved logo on the side (lengthwise) of the toy. (If you click on the image of the Kiki, it will bring up a larger image, so you can see for yourself.) The – in the P controls the lessening of the intensity, all the way to off. Conversely, the + in the B controls the increasing of the intensity to the maximum, which wasn’t much. However, I noticed that I had to hold down the buttons to actually change the intensity of the vibe and turn it off. It also has 12 different vibration modes, beyond the intensity. Um, I didn’t really feel those either.

It does come with a manual, if you need to read directions. Just sayin’.

I liked the packaging, simple and the same color as the vibe. It was cute. A die was also visible through the clear plastic window on the box, right under the Kiki. This die was black with pink images of the different toys in the Picobong line.1 It’s ok, I didn’t know what the die was for, except maybe as a (somewhat) cute little diversion from life.

So, I took the Kiki out of the package, cleaned it and inserted a brand new AAA battery I had lying around2 , turned it on and put it on my clit. Then I went all prima donna because I couldn’t really feel anything. I was all “where is the mojo goddammit?!?!” and “GIMME SOME MOTHERFUCKING LOVE OR I WILL CUT YOU LIKE A BITCH”. Yea, I was super angry that it wasn’t doing much for my clitoris. Maybe my clitoris is discerning. Yea, that’s it. Can you visualize my eyes rolling, because I sure as hell can, and did.

The Kiki is also waterproof, but I didn’t use it beyond on my back, on my bed, after a couple tries. It just wasn’t worth it. I didn’t even inset it “vaginally for vibration around the sensitive vaginal opening”.3 This made me a bit sad. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so pissy about it if I had had sangria. Or maybe I’d have been more pissy. heh.

This toy was easy to clean because it is made of silicone, with an ABS base (which is also the part you screw off to insert the battery). I cleaned it with antibacterial soap and water and toy cleaner, letting it air dry.

And on to my favorite portion: The C-Spot. Now, apparently the C-Spot is supposed to be some mystical, magical thing also known as the clitoris. C-L-I-T-O-R-I-S. Y’all, Sugar Cunt blogged about the Kiki, as well, and said that her vagina is not a Dalmatian. I kid you not. HOWEVER, I decided to be a smart ass and took a standing mirror, squatted and checked out my vulva. I even pulled back my clit hood and discovered I HAVE A FRECKLE ON MY CLITORIS. This means that my vulva is a Dalmatian. Or something like that. Holy shit, I need Freckle Juice!4

The Picobong Kiki was a nice idea, but it fell far, far from the usual high caliber of awesome one expects of LELO.

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Insane Hussein

J is a super-cool female superhero delivering her honest opinions of romance novels, douchenuggetry, sex toys, porn and whatever else she fancies. When not on the blog, she can be found on twitter chatting about whatever random thing occurs to her, might be curled up with a good book, eating chocolate, guzzling--she mean, sipping delicately--wine, watching TV, watching porn or on her back having orgasms. Or a combination thereof. Don't judge, appreciate!

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  1. I checked this out just to be more thorough, FOR YOU. []
  2. Of which I have many, duh. []
  3. From the Kiki’s page []
  4. If you don’t know what Freckle Juice is, you should read it. It’s by Judy Blume and AWESOME []

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  • Nora

    lol, dont hold anything back! 😉 jk, i liked ur honesty. just wanted to say that it worked pretty well as a clit vibe for me, so maybe all clits are not create equal :p it was also fun to use with my boyfriend as like an added thing to play around with for nipple stim, etc. thanks for this, was an interesting read!

  • OH MY GOD. Your vagina IS a Dalmatian! Can I name it Pongo?

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