Alrighty, so most everyone knows that I’ve never before been to a book reader’s convention. So I was quite surprised when I answered @SueGrimshaw’s tweet AND won a reader pass to RomCon!! @limecello also won and she was my roomie.
I was way thrilled and found myself a flight & cheapo hotel rates (with @limecello’s help I got a really good price on my flight and she introduced me to Priceline Negotiator). Most everyone there knew that I didn’t stay at the Crowne Plaza (too $$$). Now that part’s over and I’m down to the nitty gritty.
I HATED waiting for close to an hour for the shuttle from Denver airport to Courtyard by Marriot. Took way too long. But I finall got the shuttle, checked in, changed clothes, grabbed essentials and went to look for transportation to Crowne. One of the employees took pity on my sorry ass and since she was on her way to the bank, she took me with her and dropped me off at the Crowne.
I checked in to RomCon and got my badge, and a big-ass bag of swag. Now, the font was tiny on the badge, and I could barely see my own name. Thankfully I corrected that with the help of Felicia, @thehistorychic, one of my twitterati, who gave me a Sharpie!!! I ate a slightly early lunch with her and then went to find out where the Pamela Clare (@Pamela_Clare) reality tour was meeting so I could get a chance to see where scenes from her books were located AND see Denver and Boulder. Good god I’ve never seen so many damn trees in my life *achoo*. Pamela is so cool! Also, ahem, she’s right about Ranger Rick–he IS cute. (Please, Ranger Rick, if you ever read this, I would’ve shouted that “Pamela says you’re cute!!” in to her phone way much louder if I’d had the chance, just sayin’.) We saw a bunch of awesome places and the parks were beyond gorgeous!!
Unfortunately my phone died on the trip AND like a noob I forgot my iPhone charger at home. HMPH!
We came back to Crowne just about 1/2 hour after the dinner had started and I hadn’t bought a ticket to the dinner (actually I didn’t buy any meal tickets cuz they were overpriced–I do not have that kind of money). I was lucky to find someone who was willing to let me borrow her iPhone charger for about an hour to partially charge my phone. I sat outside, next to the wall outlet LOL…
I went to Walmart, via Crowne’s shuttle, got an iPhone charger, and got dropped off at the Qdoba across the street from Crowne to get dinner and run back to hotel for the Book Blogger Event. THAT was so much fun!! I met authors and fellow bloggers who were also part of my twitterati–I was excited to meet @limecello (finally LOL), @simplyali, @growlycub, @joyfullyreviewd, @jane_l (from @dearauthor), Sarah (@smartbitches) and more!
Some of us hung out at the hotel’s bar, which apparently closes at midnight (WHICH IS LAME). Really, what self-respecting bar closes at midnight on a Friday night?? Especially with a convention??
So, @limecello & I went back to our hotel, drank some of the raspberry wine I brought, and fell asleep. Guess who woke first on Saturday morning… Me. *sigh*
So we loafed then went to Crowne for some more RomCon fun. I ate a light breakfast at the Crowne’s restaurant, which isn’t bad, and went to the Intimate Chat with Melissa Mayhue, @melissamayhue. OMG she is SUCH a sweetheart!! She had some great insights and Megan is a fun girl (yes, Megan, I didn’t forget you). Melissa answered the questions asked gracefully and with verve (jesus did I just use that word?!?!). I also got a Melissa Mayhue notebook, which she kindly signed.
Next, I dashed back to my hotel (via Crowne shuttle), got the books I brought to get autographed, went back to Crowne and attended the signing. I also spread out my business cards like whoa. Heh. I met some GREAT authors, not limited to Carly Phillips (carlyphillips), whom I’ve been tweetstalking since right before the event through the end of the event, oh yes. I think she was pleasantly surprised that I wasn’t a total creepster……….. I also met, Deanne Gist, who is so sweet, Lori Foster, Lila DiPasqua, Delilah Marvelle (for more than the few minutes we spoke outside Friday’s dinner and she gave me 2 signed copies of her book), Nalini Singh, Brenda Novak, Anna Campbell, Julia Quinn (she LOVED my Doug/Quail-Man shirt), Christine Feehan, Elizabeth Hoyt, Elizabeth Boyle, Jo Beverly, and too many more to count. I do have to point out Leanne Banks, cuz she’s 1- Fan-fucking-tastic, 2-so pretty, 3- hilarious, and 4- dirty minded. Heh.
I also went to the historical author’s tea, whose panel comprised of Julia Quinn, Anna Campbell, Hannah Howell, Jo Beverly and Melissa Mayhue. I also ended up winning $50 in stone-cold cash (for winning the author trivia with 7 wrong answers) and a $20 gift card to Starbucks (from Julia Quinn cuz my middle name is Victoria which is also the name of one of her heroines)
And now, the part you’ve ALL been waiting for… SEXCAPADES!!! First let me say, I am as innocent as a 12-year-old sacrificial virgin. That being said, I almost lost to Kelly aka @DemonLoversBlog in the number of people I’ve *known*…… *shifty eyes* *angel face*
However, I was in there with a bunch of other like-minded ladies (and a couple men). And by like-minded I mean Lisa Lampanelli dirty minded. Jeebers our minds are dirty. This is where I met @apresseditor, @karenejones, @wendidarlin and @monicakaye. I also got better acquainted with @delilahmarvelle, @liladipasqua and I FINALLY got to meet @Wookiesgirl (WOOT).
We played dirty madlibs first. Um, wowzers that was way too fun. Next we played “Act out the scenes”.
I had no idea when I volunteered that @apresseditor would read the scene and I’d have to act it out with Sam aka @coqueto. I thought I was gonna read the scene (honestly, but I liked how things turned out… LOL…).
So I get up there to the hoots and catcalls of the ladies in the audience. Also I remember that Delilah was quite, ahem, *vocal*… And they call for a man to come up and chose Sam. Sam is cute, old(er), but cute heh…….. *angel face*
So the scene is a picnic sex scene, and Nick, the character Sam is playing is supposed to be running a strawberry down my body, making my character (whose name escapes me) arch, beg, scream, and beg for more.
So I lay down on some chairs, pretending it’s the blanket on the ground (so the audience has a better view) and Sam kneels in front of me (I love when a man gets on his knees for me *swoon*). But right after we start, Karen Jones, or some other buffoon decides to come up with a safe word, orange. Fools, I was never going to use the word!! *evil laugh*
So @apresseditor starts to read the scene, and we start acting out, with Karen Jones “monitoring” our actions… and then they brought in a microphone so they could hear my (character’s) groans and squeals of pleasure. So we’re having a bunch of fun, me and Sam, with Karen as a voyuer (as well as the rest of the audience), and Sam does something that his character, Nick, does, but forrealz. Jeebers that elicited a squeal cuz it was, well, very unexpected… Um. He *bit* me… he hit the metal onthe first bite and then the whole thing on the second one. Yes, he bit me twice. On my nip. Good GAWD. Karen saw it and started smirking (but I think she was just trying to cover up her jealousy LOLOL *angel face*).
So no one else really noticed that he DID bite me, thank god cuz I was about to pull him back for more… Truly, madly, *deeply*.
He’s running his hands up and down my body, also nibbling , yes REALLY nibbling his way up… and… down… He also squeezed my thigh, right at the juncture of my hip & thigh. That also was the beginning of the culminative point… my character’s orgasm… And so I’m moaning, groaning, squealing and almost literally begging for more (Sam has fast hands), and @apresseditor says the words that end the scene, “she screamed out her orgasm” (or some such, I was taking my cues from Sam and Karen at this point. Karen tells me to scream and I did. “HOLY SHIT!!!” and then I get another thigh squeeze from Sam. *swoon* I love a good thigh squeeze. Then we get up to the applause of the crowd, Sam turns to me, and says, “Kiss me, J!” Well, who was I to disagree? So I did, to even more catcalls, whistles (yes I heard those) and hoots from our audience and panel. *angel face*
(And now, for the kicker… Thankfully no one realized Flo was on the tail-end of her visit BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Next Delilah and the other guy (dude who was in a menage and will therefore be called menage dude) in the audience act out one of Karen Jones’ poems. Hehe, that was TOO much fun to watch, especially Delilah’s facial expressions and her multiple apologies to menage dude’s wife/girlfriend for what she was doing to menage dude. I couldn’t help but laugh. A lot.
I also met @jessaslade (who apparently is behind the times since she doesn’t have a cell phone *shakes head*). She’s super-cool and dirty-minded. She also tried (yet failed) to keep up with the drinking. Um. I drank. A lot. I started out with a couple glasses of the strawberry margarita, before resorting to stealing the bottle and drinking from it (cuz I’m hardcore like that) and we were playing never-have-I-ever… Well, depending on how you interpret this game, I both lost AND won. I drank to almost every single never-ever-have-I-ever, including some of my own…….. And then the final one came and I think it’s fair to say we’ll never know who’d have won that… me or Kelly/@demonloversblog…………. So I got the full bottle of strawberry margarita and she got something else.
Next we played horseshoes, but instead of nails and horseshoes it was glow-in-the-dark short dildos and accompanying glow-in-the-dark rings. I somehow ended up with one set (unsanitary, pfffft) and got @jessaslade to play with it while I took photos and video. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!
Afterward, we all went to the hotel’s bar and hung out there, and @monicakaye and I were together (apparently not a good idea) and she went, got Sam and asked us to redo the kiss, cuz she hadn’t gotten any photos… Well, she got pix and I got a vid (cuz I asked her to get me pix on my phone but she ended up doing video–BLESS YOU). @monicakaye and I also exchanged our digits AND she gave me Sam’s number (be jealous).
<rant>Next, some woman in the group at the table with Sam & Karen, etc told me she would “save” me from drunk tweeting and texting. First of all, I wasn’t drunk, I was still sober, and second, who was she anyway to say something like that to me.</rant>
So I went back to my hotel and @limecello did not stay the night with me, so I had me a no-pants party in my room (woot), finished off the raspberry wine and did not touch the margarita. I also started packing (let it be known that drunk people wouldn’t have their priorities straight like that). I had everything ready to go and managed to stuff 80% of my romcon swag and books in to my second carry-on.
I went to sleep but, woke up TOO EARLY Sunday morning, got ready, checked out of the Courtyard by Marriott and this is when things began to go downhill. First of all, I called the Crowne for the shuttle at fucking 6:45. Tell me why it took them OVER A FUCKING HOUR to get a shuttle to me?? I even had the Courtyard’s front desk call THEIR front desk. Also, I got credit for the 2 nights I spent at the Courtyard, even tho I registered through Priceline. This is why I prefer Marriott any day.
So I finally get to Crowne, complain to their front desk about having to wait sooooo long for the shuttle, check my bags at the front and make my way over to breakfast. Well, I was gonna eat by myself, but I ended up getting invited to eat breakfast with Lori Foster, Kathy (who is awesome and I had dinner with Saturday), Anna Campbell and another author (whose name escapes me). They were all so fun and we talked about Macy’s. Anna apparently loves Macy’s.
I got a hairy omelette (there was a hair in it ewwww) and got my entire breakfast comp. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!
Went to the book sale gallery and took pix of myself in those book covers. Went to the brunch/ending ceremony and snaggled a few of Elizabeth Hoyt’s books. I also got a ton of authors to sign my name badge (apparently that’s what the white space on the back is for but no one was told). I put it in a ziplock baggie heh.
To celebrate the end of romcon, I and the sexcapades crew went to the hotel’s bar and drank and talked. A lot on both fronts. I love rum punch and buffalo wingyz. I got some awesome pix of @wendidarlin’s ass LOL and @delilahmarvelle promised to mail me things from RWA!!!!!!!
Then I went to the airport with my bags, missed out on having dinner with @Meljean Brook, my flight was delayed by almost an hour (but we ended up landing at BWI at the original scheduled land time, of 11:45pm EST).
I came home with a shit ton load of swag and even more books. A triple shit ton load of books. YAY!!!
Needless to say, I will be going back to romcon and I’ll be going early to hang with Pamela Clare (hopefully) and stay at @monicakaye’s cuz she said I could
Now for the cons:
1. the volunteers were hideous. RomCon needs to make sure to get volunteers that aren’t gonna be sitting there making fun of the genre, attendees, readers and authors. Fuck off bitches.
2. The event schedule. I was scheduled to go to several things but couldn’t because they conflicted with each other.
3. Location–the hotel was no where near the city, so I couldn’t go mosey about town and do some touristy things.
4. I didn’t attempt to go to the costume balls, since I didn’t really feel so inclined (and they honestly didn’t interest me and I hear were very poorly attended)